Issue brought to Supervision: I know what the client needs to do, when will they get there?!?

A coach spoke to me recently in supervision about their frustration with a client who seemed stuck. The coach could clearly see the client’s path forward - the solution was so obvious - and they found themselves wondering, why can’t the client see it? How long will it take them to catch up and get there?!

I call these my “Ooh, ooh, I know this one!” moments, when my brain leaps ahead, sure I’ve got the answer. Often, it's because I’ve seen this kind of dilemma before, or because it brushes up against something in my own story.

But here’s the thing: our solutions come from our own worldview, shaped by our context, values, and history. We are not the client. And even if we are “right,” our idea of the solution is still ours. If we overlay it onto the client, it won’t quite fit. They need to find their own way, even if they eventually land in the same place we imagined for them.

We know things. We’ve lived, trained, observed, and reflected. From the outside looking in, it can seem deceptively easy to see the whole picture, the pattern, the next step. That’s part of our coaching craft: helping the client zoom out from their fixed perspective and offering a broader lens.

But when we believe we know exactly what they need to do, we risk slipping out of partnership. It’s confusing: if the answer is so clear to me, why can’t they see it? In those moments, we can subtly shift into impatience, judgment, or steering, even when we think we're being helpful.

If you find yourself in these situations, then take some time to reflect on these questions:

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  • What’s pulling you toward knowing the answer?

  • How does this affect your ability to stay curious and truly listen?

  • What’s yours in this - what comes from your relationship with this type of issue - and what belongs to the client? Where might those threads be getting tangled?

  • In what ways might your need to know be getting in the way of your coaching presence?

    
    

    Practice sitting with not knowing. Don’t rush to fill the silence or move the client along. Instead, imagine yourself as a co-detective, magnifying glass in hand, searching for clues with your client. Ask curious questions. Gently uncover assumptions. Follow unexpected leads.

  
  

  This creates space to open up discovery, rather than narrowing down towards a solution too soon.

  
  

  When you allow your client to find their own path - which may be different, similar, or even identical to the one you imagined - they gain so much more than just a solution. They build agency, insight, confidence, and resilience.

  
  

  If you lead them too soon, they may arrive, but they won’t own the journey. And without that, they may not trust or believe in the destination.

  
  

  You can start by noticing those “I know this one!” moments. Acknowledge them internally, then gently park them. Give yourself permission to sit with uncertainty. Trust that the client’s process, however slow or winding it may seem to you, is where the transformation lives. Be present. Be patient. Be curious.

  
  

  As a coach, you bring a deep well of knowledge and experience, which is a strength. And, wisdom also lies in knowing when to set it aside. We know that coaching isn’t about having the answers; it’s about creating the space where clients can find their own.

  
  

  So, put on your deerstalker hat, polish your metaphorical magnifying glass, and show up ready to be a co-detective, not with a map, but with curiosity, presence, and trust in the process.